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Grooms Take an Active
Role in Planning
Weddings are full of references to the bride. From the traditional
"Bridal Chorus," played during the ceremony, to friends and family
members making up the "bridal party" to the holding of a "bridal shower"
where the bride-to-be is doted upon and presented with a myriad of
wonderful gifts, one might wonder just how the groom fits into the grand
scheme of things. After all, it seems he doesn't share equal wedding-day
billing.
 In
the past, grooms did take a backseat when it came to weddings,
preferring to have their fiancιes do the majority of the planning.
However, these days men are becoming involved in more activities that
were traditionally thought of as womanly tasks -- caring for children,
helping with housework, and taking an active role in wedding planning.
The trouble is, the majority of wedding resources are still skewed
toward the female audience, leaving men searching for advice catering to
the masculine ear.
"The groom has wedding responsibilities and wants to help with
wedding planning, but he's often in the dark about what to do," says
Mark Walerstein, founder of GroomsOnline (www.groomsonline.com),
an informational Web site offering tips, pointers and timesaving hints
designed to make the planning process more fun, relaxing and rewarding
for the man.
The groom, best man or groomsmen can check out the site for
wedding-day checklists, attire pointers and bachelor party planning
ideas. In addition, there's even a full-service online gift shop so that
gifts can be purchased for wedding party members, parents ... and the
ladies, too.
When planning your upcoming wedding, keep these top tips in mind,
courtesy of
GroomsOnline.com.
- Gather paperwork -- Make it your responsibility to apply for the
wedding license, research blood-test requirements, and coordinate
passport applications if needed for international travel. In
addition, add the bride's name to financial accounts, wills or
insurance policies if you have mutually decided this will be in your
best interests.
- Arrange transportation -- Interview limousine companies or other
transportation arrangements and finalize the details. Make sure you
provide accurate directions to and from the ceremony and to your
reception location as well. Present the company with a schedule or
timeline so that the limo will be on time.
- Plan the honeymoon -- Once your locale is decided upon, go about
booking the trip and securing transportation to and from the
airport, which could be provided by your best man.
- Coordinate groomsmen's attire -- In addition to your own attire,
set up fittings for tuxedo rental or purchase for your wedding
party. Make sure everyone is provided with the necessary components
(i.e. tie, vest, cummerbund and shoes) prior to the wedding day.
Also arrange to have the tuxedos returned after the wedding by a
groomsman so you can dash off on your honeymoon.
- Pick up the rings -- After selecting your wedding bands, make
sure they are sized correctly and pick them up from the jeweler. Be
sure they are brought to the ceremony and in safekeeping with the
best man.
- Reward the woman in your life -- Pick up a heartfelt gift for
your bride-to-be so she knows how much the wedding means to you,
too.
Tux Terminology for the
Groom-to-Be
Though the bulk of wedding day attire attention typically focuses on
what the bride is wearing, grooms also have important choices to make
when it comes to what to wear
 on
their wedding day. And just like brides have many different styles from
which to choose with respect to their gowns, so, too, do grooms when it
comes to their tuxedos.
While a groom's wardrobe decision typically does not involve as much
forethought or time as a bride's, he should keep in mind several factors
before choosing a tuxedo. These include the degree of formality and the
time of the event in addition to the style of the tuxedo itself. For
instance, if the event is going to be ultraformal, then a traditional
tuxedo complete with a tuxedo vest and tie is the most appropriate
choice. Grooms going this route can also choose to add a top hat, cane
and even tuxedo gloves as accessories. However, at less formal weddings,
this would clearly not be the best option. To help you make the right
decision, here is a list of some tuxedo terminology that should help you
make a more educated choice.
- Single-breasted. Any man who has ever put on a suit, be
it a tux or a business suit, likely knows that single-breasted means
a suit with a single row of buttons down the middle. This has become
the more popular choice of late and is appropriate for men of all
body types. Single-breasted suits come in many styles, however. You
can order a single-breasted tuxedo with either one button or two,
with the choice typically depending on the groom's height (taller
grooms usually prefer two buttons, while shorter grooms like one
button). Grooms can also order three- or four-button single-breasted
tuxedos. These are generally only good for men who are particularly
tall or thin, as larger men should avoid the three or four-button
tuxedo.
- Double-breasted. As one might infer, the double-breasted
tuxedo is one with two rows of buttons as opposed to one. Typically,
these work best with heftier grooms, as double-breasted suits tend
to hide girth and appear more comfortable.
- Cutaway Tuxedo. These go well with men of all statures.
Cutaway refers to the front edges of the coat sloping diagonally
from the waist and forming tails in the back. These are the most
appropriate option for daytime weddings.
- Tails. Tails are mainly reserved for ultraformal and
traditional weddings. Featuring a severe break between front and
back, tails should be avoided by shorter or stockier grooms.
- High or Low Vest. High vests are typically good for
taller men with longer torsos, as they extend up the torso higher
than a regular vest and go well with a high-button coat. Low vests
are more appropriate for most men and can be worn by men of all body
types.
- Peaked Lapel. An extension of the coat collar, the peaked
lapel is often a good choice for a shorter groom, as it typically
makes the body appear longer and leaner.
- Shawl Collar. Unlike a traditional collar, shawl collars
do not come to a point, making this a difficult choice to make
depending on body type. In general, a wider groom will want to stick
with a wider shawl collar as a thin collar will make him look
larger. Similarly, a more svelte groom should stick with a thinner
collar, as a wider one will have a cartoonish effect.
- Mandarin or Banded Collar. Again, this depends on the
body type. This is the collar type that appears to not be a collar
at all, as it just wraps around the neck without any protruding
points and is never worn with a necktie. For grooms with short or
thick necks, this style should definitely be avoided, as it will
appear as though you are bursting out of the top of your shirt. A
more slender groom, though, can wear a mandarin collar.
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